Holly Gennero McClane: After all your posturing, all your little speeches, you’re nothing but a common thief.
Hans Gruber: I am an exceptional thief, Mrs. McClane. And since I’m moving up to kidnapping, you should be more polite.
We just got the Christmas tree put up. We are quite a bit later than usual, but there didn’t seem to be much point when everything was covered by dust.
I went to the usual place to get the tree: Home Depot. I’ve been going there for about a decade, or so, and we haven’t had a bad tree yet.
My job, with the Christmas season, is pretty straightforward: get a tree and put up lights. Christmas lights, to be clear.
I put up our exterior lights quite a while ago. It was actually warm enough to work outside without gloves on.
Normally, it’s about 35 below, and I freeze pretty much every body part.
I got the tree yesterday and let it “relax” from the cold overnight.
It looks pretty good. A couple of snips with the trimmer and it was ready to go.
As I said, I am in charge of lights. Over the years, my application method has changed. It used to be that I carefully wove the lights into the tree. I carefully went up and down each branch.
It was perfect. Also time consuming.
One year I decided to just quickly put them up. Not sloppily – I still like to hide the wire as best as I can – but quick.
It looks just about as good for a fraction of the work. I think they call this the 80/20 rule: 80% of people don’t know 20% about Christmas lights. Uh …
Something like that, anyway.
No matter which way I string the lights, Sue will say there aren’t enough.
You are probably wondering why I have a picture of Hans Gruber, the bad guy from the movie Die Hard, on this post. First, it’s a great movie. NOT rated PG, if you haven’t seen it. Second, it’s my favourite Christmas movie. And third, Hans is one of the all time best bad guys on the screen.
Plus, it’s a Schellenberg family tradition to watch at least Die Hard (1) over the holidays. Probably 2 as well. Hey, you do your thing, we’ll do ours.
We won’t judge you.
We don’t really have many Christmas traditions: decorations, a tree, Die Hard and dressing in dinosaur onesies on Christmas Eve.
Just seeing if you’re paying attention.
Things have changed, now that our family has grown by 2. We aren’t always together on Christmas eve or day. Time gets split between two families.
This is the way it should be. New families are created, and times move on. The joy of having two daughters in the family outweigh any minor scheduling problems.
They’re not really movie people, though, and they seem to think that Die Hard is not a Christmas movie. I foresee some issues, down the road.
Still, we love our girls. Especially Sue, who now has people of intelligence to talk with. Not that there’s anything wrong with fart jokes.
I guess I’ll go carry the empty decorations boxes back to the storage room. I guess that’s another tradition for me.